Hallucinary weekend

This weekend has been one of the stranger weekends that i've had. last week I got sick on Sunday of all days. Just a 24 hour flu, but it knocked me out for all of Sunday and most of Monday. So i took Tuesday off my running schedule to recoup. I ran wednesday instead, just my usual 6 miles, however, afterwards, my leg hurt, leftside on fire from my calf down to my toes. only for a few seconds and then it was gone, I thought it was just something with the way my leg was propped, up so it went away, next day, thursday, ran another 6 miler, i wanted to make sure I kept up with my running schedule and get my mileage in, no pain this time, but i was feeling tired. The next day, friday, i did something i had never done before, ran for three straight days. Ran my usual 6 miles, and felt really good about it. wasn't as tired as before, but was feeling a little sore, having run three times in a row at that distance, was beginning to take a toll. That night i went to the Ball room social for the Salsa in utah dance club. It was fun, remembered alot of things i thought I had forgotten, but still, enjoyed myself. My samba needs alot of work, lost my hips. my cha-cha, so many moves i just don't remember anymore. i was out till 10 but decided to run the next morning, so four days in a row, a new record, but pushed my body passed what it had ever done before, this morning i was determined to run 10, which i did eventually. at around my 7th mile, my body was feeling it, my fuel gauge was near empty and my body was letting me know it. i walked a little bit to get my legs again, and got back into a rhythm. i was running back south on state street just past 4500 south, then i saw a car turn in front of me. i wasn't paying too much attention, the car was far enough in front of me to not be a problem. however, when i looked back up to see where the car had turned into, it was into this small opening between two buildings. this opening was full of grass, trees, and misc junk the owners had piled there. i looked again, i swore the truck had turned into this very location, but how could a truck be there when in fact it looked as if nothing could fit in that location. at this time i was pretty certain, i had reached a training limit and must have been seeing things. I walked at this point to make sure i was still possessing ones faculties, and realized the truck had turned a bit earlier than i saw, and was spacing out the location. still it freaked me out. A little farther down, same thing, but it was a man, walking into a wall that had no door. i double checked again, saw the door, but realized that i had some sort of spaced out delay that just didn't see what i saw when i thought i saw it. it was fun though to think that i was seeing things. I get so focused on my runs i tend to block out everything else. this just happened to be the case. still, after 8 miles i'm sure the tired state of my body wasn't helping me comprehend the spatial sequence of my running memory.
I love ending my runs with my warmdown in the park, this morning it was just wonderfully beautiful. all the birds, the clean air, the quiet awayness i feel underneath the trees. I hope heaven just has a huge park in the middle i can walk with my family chill out under the shade, enjoy a soft breeze and bask in morning light. I digress.
I finished my run with 10 miles, altogether, for the week i got in 28 miles, 2 less than last week, but i got my goal. my body was soo tired. to reward making my goal i had breakfast at IHOP. and then relaxed the rest of morning until my salsa class later that day. the class was fun, heather, our salsa teacher is so much fun and she makes everything interesting. I just went home to relax, later that night we had our death my chocolate party. back in november, we had a service auction for our Sub for Santa program. I got the death by chocolate. basically a huge dinner party with nothing but chocolate dishes as the main courses. it was fun, the girls did a wonderful job and we all ate as much as we could. I left early. still feeling strange from my run and needed to rest.
the next day, went to church. I sing in the choir, i am a baritone, can't sing much higher, and can't go much lower, it fits for me in that range, i don't mind. if i have to chose i go with the bass side. still We have been getting alot of guys to choir now, in fact we have outnumbered the girls alot recently. Juliann Smith is our new choir director and she had two new songs for us. both were not familiar to me so i spent alot of time trying to get the notes right. and then in the corner of my eye, i saw janna walk into the chapel ever so briefly, and walk right out. it happened so quickly i was sure it was one of my hallucinations. i kind of did one of those bugs bunny double takes, shaking my head, that can't be her, and then stuck my head in my music. but what brief glimpse i saw of her, stuck in my head, just a moment and there she was, and then gone again. She has my heart to do with as she pleases. Over the past few weeks, i mentioned that since we went out, there have been an increasing amount of interest in me to date. lots of girls, many of them just very beautiful. but i always ended up thinking of Janna, and not them. it has been a great trial to me not hearing from her and even more so, in moments i just want to talk to someone. how can just a few hours with someone have such an effect on me and do nothing for her. Not sure how to answer that mystery. All i know, is what remains of my heart, is hers and hers alone. What a fool she would make of me, what things i would do for her, should she ask. I have done all i can, to the limits of our association. should i press more, then i would be stalking her, or pushing her further away. I have so many flowers i want to give, so many places i want to take her, so many walks around the park we can take, just being together, side by side. All i can do is wait, wait for her answer, or if her answer is silence, even then still, i must wait until she meets someone, falls in love, and breaks my heart completely. then will her grasp over me be broken, then i will be free from her to move on. until then, my thoughts are ever of her.